*Name changed for confidentiality reasons.
I had amazing parents. But even the best parents cannot always protect you from the worst happening.
After countless broken & painful relationships, heavy drug & alcohol abuse & over five years of working in the sex industry I realised what had happened to me, I had been sexually abused as a very young child. I was so young that I could barely remember, but the effects were astronomical & set me on a path of pain, suffering & self-destruction.
I started escorting for an agency in Sydney after my marriage broke down. I had been left as a single mother of my two sons. At the same time, I started dating a drug dealer. This combination led to a heavy dependence on cocaine, base (speed), ecstasy & alcohol. Over my five years in the industry I also worked in most legal brothels & massage parlours in Sydney. Through the work & my addictions, I put myself in countless dangerous situations. Two of the worst, being beaten by a client & being raped by two men. I lost custody of my boys & truly believed there was no way out of the situation I had put myself in. I had been arrested & put in a cell overnight many times, most of which I cannot even remember because I was so wasted. My self-worth was zero & I constantly battled suicidal fantasies & drug induced paranoia & psychosis.
I am now one of the few girls I know to have escaped the sex industry and the addictions that often come with it. I have managed to stay on the path of healing & health.
Is my life perfect? No.
Do I still struggle, sometimes daily? Yes.
Do I always get things right now? Certainly not! Those close to me know how true this is.
But now I do know 100% that I am living the life I actually want to; the life I was born to live.
I know how much damage this work did to me over the years and witnessed the pain & suffering it caused hundreds of others. One of my close working-girl friends hung herself at the age of just twenty. I have spent hours researching the effects of sex work & have found countless articles likening the psychological damage to that of violent sexual abuse. Most of those who choose to work in this industry have experienced some form of sexual abuse. There are many single mothers who do not see other work as an option. The dissociation needed to cope with this work causes long term damage to the brain & can make loving relationships almost impossible. Dissociation can even lead to a total disconnection with your own children.
So, what was the purpose of me sharing this with you?
I have begun the journey of reaching out to girls who are currently trapped in the sex industry. I do not judge these women, or want to force my opinions about the work they do onto them. I simply want to offer a lifeline; a hand to help pull them out if this is what they choose.
Does Anna’s story sound like yours?
Please contact Rahab